Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Miss her, she would have been 26th

It has been ten years since I last saw my sister Alex and if she were still alive she would have been celebrating her 26th birthday this Saturday on Sept 5th. As I have said before this year has not been easy for me during my wedding preparation.

This week I had two appointments for wedding planning. The first appointment was with our pastor who will officiate our wedding. I had told the pastor I wanted to represent my sister in a special way and would have one of the groomsmen walk alone with out a bridesmaid, Since my sister is irreplaceable. The Groomsman then would light a candle to represent my sister's presents with us on our special occasion. I nearly wanted to cry when explaining this to the pastor. Really life is not always full of happy things sometimes we have to keep running even when it hurts.

The next wedding appointment I had was at the alteration for my wedding dress. wow it was sooo weird to stand there in front of the mirror and look at myself in a wedding dress. I thought of the day I would wear it again when fully done and how it all will go. I thought of the people involved and of my sister who would not be physically present. My mom looked at me and just kept saying we are going to really have a special day. It warmed my heart to see my mom there buttoning and zipping me in the dress.

Such a great time right now for me and in the mist of it all I want to take the time out to say happy birthday to my sister who I dearly miss and love soo much. As the song sang by Jeremy Camp "There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears...." until then I will marry the man who will help carry me through these sad moments when I miss her, along with the rest of my big family and friends. Its sooo good to know I will have Scott to hold me when I really need it.

So live for today and don't wast a moment of it. Donate today to find a cure for cancer at my webpage http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/nikesf09/vgonzales

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